I RESOLVE…

Every year I try not to make resolutions because ultimately it just leads to me failing on paper. That’s not my style. Plus, it gives Drew (husband) a chance to say “I told you so”. Again, not my style. Besides, that’s my job.

I know 2012 will have a lot in store for our family with a new baby, careers, a future nephew on the way, multiple friends popping out spawn. This can only mean that if I don’t change with the times, then I will fail in the future. With that, I want to set goals that are SMART and realistic (specific, measurable, actionable, reasonable, and time-bound). So I resolve to…

GRETA’S 2012 RESOLUTION LIST

Lose Baby Weight

This has got to go. Seriously, I like my old clothes. The overall goal is 40 pounds by next December. My path to success for this is a three pronged plan:

1. Exercise... which means compete in the “Biggest Loser” competition at the Community Center. There is money involved. I’m a fierce competitor. Enough said. This includes a personal trainer, unlimited classes, unlimited gym, and a physical.
2. Portion Control. Hello Healthy Choice packaged foods! Who needs Nutri System when you can go to the local grocery freezer section? I would say “fresh produce” but that would go bad since I’m the only one who eats fruits and vegetables in our house.
3. More Water, Less Caffeine. I’m an addict. This needs to stop. Once I had Cate in September, it’s like my mind said “NO MORE LIMITATIONS ON CAFFEINE!” I think I’ve had about a pot of coffee per day since then. Maybe not everyday, but regardless, it’s too much.

Think Positive, Judge Less
I need serious inspiration and motivation, constantly. There are a few blogs and sites that I read on a regular basis to keep me engaged and focused so I don’t turn into a whiny hypochondriac depressed about someone else’s greener grass. I think it’s true that being a hater makes you sad. So here are my happy go-tos. Feel free to suggest others.

1. The first one is The Positivity Blog. It’s a very simple blog by Henrik Edberg. While his editing skills don’t pay bills, his elementary approach to positivism are fantastic, quick reminders for me.
2. Being a secular humanist, I prefer to have peer reviewed research to back up beliefs. I refer to FYI Living a lot, specifically the separate sections on mind, body, and diet. Most recently I read the article “Frustrated Achievers” Can’t Appreciate Life’s Successes which concluded that money is insufficient for the improvement of life satisfaction if one does not have good health, a satisfactory job, happy marriage, and a good social life. Lack of these results in “frustrated achievement.”
3. Another blog I read is Gimme Bliss by Tiffany Hamburger. She’s a mom who is a simple, straight shooter providing life advice. Nothing more, nothing less.

More Photos, Better Quality
Okay, so I’ve never taken any photography classes. Ever. I would love to learn more since I love being an amateur. Cheers to finding the time to fit this one in the list!


My goal is to read the digital photography book that Drew apparently bought me a few years ago. I had forgotten this existed. Then again, maybe he didn’t tell me it existed. Hopefully I can finish 5 chapters by June.


Other People’s Projects
I’m already lining these up for the year! The objective is to help family and friends with their projects and give back. Hopefully in return they will help me with mine. These include cleaning out basements, organizing kitchens and closets, painting, scanning photos from the 1970s… This will work out very easily if there is wine involved. Hint Hint.


My goal is 8 projects this year. January and February are already booked! Send me your projects and dates so I can check availability now!


Voice-Over Vision
I’ve wanted to be a voice actor since high school. While I sometimes chose a different fork in the road to travel down over the past 14 years, I’ve decided to “Just Do It” and start this up. 


Keep in mind; I’m not quitting my day job.


Steps in the Process:

1. Refer to The Voice Over Guide
2. Register for Voice 123 so I start receiving leads (already done)
3. Set-up computer (in process)
4. Make contacts (in process)
5. Record demo
6. Buy microphone and additional sound equipment as needed
7. Create sound booth in basement

My goal is to provide product no later than September 2012, if not sooner! Look out!


Happy New Year!

My Learnings from Baby Cate

Becoming first time parents definitely requires preparation. So that of course fit directly into my motto of "prior preparation prevents piss poor performance."

Drew and I were very excited about our new arrival, Baby Cate. She was due to arrive mid-September. We did a lot of prep work to make sure we were both ready to go. We read books, went to "baby school", sought advice from friends and family,  baby-proofed the house a month before she was here. In fact, I baby-proofed the house so much that I actually "Drew-proofed" some areas. That didn't go over well. But as much as we prepped and planned, as everyone knows, sometimes our path leads us a different way. This is why we always have contingencies in place. Hence was the case with Cate's early arrival!

Labor was fourteen hours of no fun. I went into labor at 5:20pm on Tuesday. While on the phone with my mom, watching NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, my mom asked "so have you had any contractions today?" I replied "no, not today - no... wait...." That's when the fun began!

We waited until contractions were about seven minutes apart, which was when Drew called the doctor's exchange, at approximately 10:00pm. The doctor-on-call said to go and get admitted. "We'll take her."

So we went.

I was VERY ready.  Contractions that are seven minutes apart aren't  fun. No, seriously. I'm not lying, they're not fun, especially while riding in a car and hitting pot holes.

We arrived at the hospital, made it to the delivery room, and started to get "comfortable" as quickly as possible. Between the time we entered the delivery room to when they applied the contraction monitor belt, I had three big contractions. So those three contractions didn't even "register" with the hospital staff. 

At this point, I was 4 cm dilated.

NOTE: Make sure your contractions measure with the hospital staff.

I had one contraction that registered on the belt and then they slowed down. In the interim, the nurses called the doctor-on-call who preceded to tell them to "send her back home". At that moment I went through multiple emotions including anger, confusion, frustration, and "um, what?".

As the midwife took the contraction monitor belt off and started to help me get dressed, (NOTE: I couldn't dress myself at this point), I had another contraction. They could definitely sense my negativity. The midwife and one of the nurses both looked at me and simultaneously said "see you in the morning." I think I may have given them the finger as we were rolling out the door. I don't think they saw me. That was at midnight.

By the time we were in the parking garage, the contractions started again in full force. While on the way home, the contractions were so strong that Drew had to pull over. We even considered turning around to go back to the hospital. I think I almost fell out of the car while we were pulling over because I wanted to get out of it so bad.

As soon as we were home, Drew went to bed. I just kept track of contractions since there was no way I would be sleeping that night. I thought it was humorous that the hospital sent me home with an Ambien, as if that was going to do anything. Contractions continued until 6:30am when I couldn't take the pain anymore. I called Drew (he was sleeping in his basement man cave) and told him we had to go. When we arrived at the hospital, they checked me in really quick. By 9:00am, 6 cm dilated, I had my epidural. Pure magic. Absolutely amazing.

Then they realized that we weren't progressing anymore. Contingency plan! C-section it was!

Looking back, after all the planning and prep work, one of the biggest learning opportunities would have been to hear more from women about pregnancy and post-pregnancy truths. I would have also asked more questions about what post-delivery is like, not just from an emotional stand point, but from a healing and pain management stand point. That's the stuff that women don't like sharing - as if pregnancy is all flowers, butterflies, song and dance. I'm still not sure why most women are hesitant to share the ugly truths of pregnancy. I'm not talking about dramatic, exaggerated horror stories about bringing life into this beautiful world. I'm talking about sharing the ugly and unfortunate truths and components on your body falling apart and/or healing. These key components are not going to hurt the baby's feelings if you talk about them. I promise. Women can benefit from this shared knowledge, AND I would have still had a baby. In fact, I'll have another one hopefully.

I was not ready for the dramatic changes, along with the changes that I wanted to have happen quickly, like losing the 45 pounds it took me nine months to gain. If anything, besides learning how to be a great mom, balancing mommy-hood and wifely duties, loosing weight and healing from a c-section, my biggest adjustment is figuring out how to be alone with myself during the day for eleven weeks of maternity leave.

I am incredibly lucky to have eleven weeks with Cate. This is a very special time to bond with her, learn how to be a mom, etc. But let me tell you - you can only bond so much with someone who sleeps 14 hours per day and doesn't talk back to you. I'm not saying I need hours upon hours of intellectual conversation. It's just nice to talk to people - being a people person and all. Maybe some people think that's wrong or "anti-mommy", but when you have a type-A, workaholic, go-getter personality and have been in the workforce since you were 15 years old, drastically changing to the "stay-at-home" mom lifestyle is like cutting off the cast of Jersey Shore from their tanning beds. It may leave Snookie wondering," is there even a f*c&ing spray-tan option?" Being cut-off is incredibly difficult. I'm seriously having work withdrawals.

And with this much down time, my mind begins to wander. Questions come up such as "what do I want to be when I grow up", "should I run for local office", "maybe I should join a club", "oh, crap, I need to prep that presentation for the first week of December in Chicago", "I need to scan every family photo - BUT, ugh, I don't want to do that", "should I open a marketing agency", "should I join Walt and learn the family insurance business", "what do I stand for", "am I far enough along in my career compared to others my age", "am I doing enough to get to the top, whatever "the top" is",  "should I become an expert at something"? It just keeps going on and on. So frustrating. My mind will not turn off.

Five and a half weeks after delivering Cate, I now understand this journey's importance - besides having a baby. One, I will continue to prepare for all events in life so I can continue to avoid piss poor performances. This is one of my strengths.

Two, women need to share more ugly truths. Spill it ladies. Don't be shy. I don't like shy ladies. We need to stand up and share our stories with each other about bringing life into this world.

Three, I need to get some hobbies and not be addicted to work. Work addiction sucks. Enjoying life is a great thing, and we only have one shot.

And four, in order to successfully raise a child, I need to get to know myself. I feel like the scene in "Runaway Bride", with Julia Roberts, where she doesn't know what types of eggs she likes. Basically, Julia Roberts has just always eaten whatever eggs her boyfriend at the time has eaten. Scrambled? Poached? Over-easy? With or without hot sauce? She never takes the time to know and understand what she likes or wants out of life. Not cool.

In order to become a stronger person, I must continue to be a contingency planner. I must also become better at listening, sharing, having hobbies and enjoying life, and knowing myself (being alone). Here's to future self-awareness! Where's the vodka and poached eggs?

Removing A Third Trimester Multi-Tasker's Glitch in The Matrix

Third trimester insomnia sucks. As a career-driven multi-tasker, the last two weeks have been quite challenging to work through. My mind is racing with thoughts about celebrating the future with our new little bundle of joy, getting everything ready for this next phase in our life, and checking the normal "new mom" to-do lists so we have everything near perfect for when the big day comes.

The major challenge is how do I slow down at work and balance this third trimester short-timer syndrome? This is something that freaks me out. I know it will happen, but it will continue to take numerous co-workers, friends, and family to make me slow down. This is a new endeavor. I am a workaholic. I love work. I breathe work. I compose the hymnal for everyone to sing in harmony from while at work.

How do you get used to not being a motivated team player who excels at work? That's almost like asking someone, "how do you cope with sucking?" in my world. That doesn't sound very nice. I know. But I am very hard on myself. This whole life shift is like watching a slow motion shoot-out in The Matrix. You see every intricate detail take place, every bullet graze a marble column, each splash as a boot runs through a puddle, but you know that only for a moment you can see everything so slowly, clear and calm. Then the camera speed goes back to normal and the anxiety level increases in the scene.

Let's just say that lately Drew goes out of his way to make vacuum lines in the carpet. Did you know that I find this surprisingly very calming? Color-coordinated closets also have the same calming effect for me. Any organizational tactic really is good for me. Maybe that's my way of removing a glitch in the matrix. There are other ways I'm getting through the glitch... the normal nesting, eating well, limiting caffeine, trying to relax (haha), working from home as much as possible, and really trying to focus on delegating work and prioritizing projects. I will leave my work team in a great spot, no matter when our little parasitic ninja arrives. They know they can call if they have a dire emergency. But the prepping still keeps me up at night.

So here I am, again, late at night, not able to sleep. Thoughts stream to the point of buffering to a standstill, and then suddenly, I'm wide awake again with a kick to the stomach or a thought about how to analyze some market research I just completed maybe in a different way than what I had originally thought of doing.

Who has some slow down suggestions?

Remembering Bill Fraunholtz, Sr.

ORIGINALLY POSTED IN JULY 2011
This weekend is jam-packed with family and friends. Drew and I have a great shower in store for us where we will see so many family and friends who are there to celebrate our future new arrival!

Bill & Karen (Kortum) Fraunholtz,
 circa Feb 2005

While we'll enjoy this great weekend, I will be thinking over the next week - even more than I already do - about how I wish my Dad was here to meet our new arrival in September. He would be proud, excited, and ready to celebrate!

So in memory of my Dad, I wanted to share the eulogy that I wrote for him at gave at his funeral on August 8, 2009. It wasn't huge or anything spectacular. It was just  a page full of words that meant - and still mean a lot to me. He'd be proud.

REMEMBERING MY DAD: JULY 5, 1948 - AUGUST 4, 2009

William Fraunholtz, Sr.,
St. Louis, MO, circa 1949

... There’s a saying that I’ve heard many times throughout my life that always reminded me of my Dad. In fact, he had a t-shirt with this saying on it, but he never really wanted to wear it. The saying was “you can always tell a German, but you can’t tell him much.” For those who knew dad well – you knew this to be a true statement.

Dad was very stubborn, straight forward, no-nonsense, and feisty. He was a hard-headed perfectionist who was meticulous about the details. Dad cared about doing things right the first time no matter what he was working on. He also never made it a secret that you were messing something up.

Eugene, Marjorie Pauline (Walkerow), and
Billy Fraunholtz, circa 1953

As many of you know, Dad was born here in STL to very hard-working German parents who came here from Pennsylvania and Ohio. They owned a tool distributorship downtown, which is where Dad’s carpenter roots began. He loved his tools, and he loved being busy. In fact, if he wasn’t working on his own projects, I bet he was working on many other projects for those of you here with us today.

Dad always had to stay busy. If he wasn’t working on something, he was in his garden out at Bo’s, running dogs with Ed, finishing basements with Dale, going hunting with Steve, or fishing with Uncle Wayne and the guys. There was always something going on.

Bill Fraunholtz, Sr., U.S. Army, Artillery,
Vietnam, circa 1967

My Dad knew how to have a good time too. I don’t think there is a Fraunholtz who doesn’t know how to have a good time. And with good times come many great friends. Dad had so many great friends who have woven themselves into the fabric of our family’s life. Dad taught us the importance of friendship, and what it means to value and respect relationships.

Dad taught the three of us kids so many things… manners, how to hit a ball, how to dance, how to drive, how to hunt for mushrooms, how to grow a garden.

Summer 2008, Dad's Gravely tiller/plow that he branded Budweiser, his favorite beer

Dad also taught us that life is about family. Even though he wasn’t a touchy-feely kind of guy, he always pushed us to do our best, be our best, and be together. He so wanted a strong family. All of you here were his family. He would have done anything for any of you.

Larry's Tavern, Grover, MO - 2006

One of my favorite movies is called "Big Fish". It’s a story about a guy who is on the verge of losing his father. The entire movie is about how this guy’s dad had a story for every event in his life. Big stories. LARGER than life stories, and all his life the son never believed his dad’s stories because they were just so crazy. 

Anyway, one of my favorite moments in the movie is when a younger version of the father says, “There are some fish that cannot be caught. It's not that they're faster or stronger than other fish. They're just touched by something extra.”  My Dad was something extra.

Kirkwood, MO, Feb 2007

Kirkwood, MO United Methodist, Feb 2007

Later on in that movie, an older version of the dad says…”A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.” I hope all of you here continue to tell stories about my Dad, long after he is gone because he was an uncatchable fish who loved life.

June 2005

While I know this week has been somewhat surreal and unexpected for all of us, I can’t help but think that my Dad is in a better place where he can spread his wings, a place where he’s with his family, a place where he knows that his wife, children, family and friends all love him very much. Even though we couldn’t tell him much, he knew how much we loved him. I’m proud to be his daughter, and we’re all proud that he is our Dad. Let’s remember everything that Dad shared with us – those bigger than life stories that will live on in each of us. Let’s be happy knowing that those memories will live on until we meet again.

May 2006

My First Blog - Use Logic and Reason When Choosing to Engage

Taking the plunge into something new can expose you to various feelings: excitement, anxiety, fear, frustration, hope, happiness. I've never been one to completely open up emotionally to friends or family. As a very guarded person with evident trust issues, I was raised to believe in respecting elders, etiquette, manners, being polite, only speak when spoken to, help those in need, and to not offer up my opinion or advice unless asked directly. Yet, this can only get you so far in life.

As someone with an outgoing, boisterous personality, it is challenging to maintain a façade of proper poise, kindness, good-natured awesomeness. Words used to describe my childhood idiosyncrasies included “bossy”, “precocious”, and a great “goody two-shoe”. This last one I find ironic, especially when there is an extreme amount of pent up anger, frustration, sadness, and confusion inside this bitter berry. The meaning of “goody two-shoes”, according to my friends at Phrases.org, is “someone who is virtuous in a coy, smug or sentimental manner.” Phrase.org continues to explain that this phrase derives “from the title of the nursery tale The History of Little Goody Two-Shoes, which was published in 1765.

“The story itself is a re-telling of the Cinderella story, which itself is an example of the Christian teaching that diligence reaps its reward in Heaven - what later came to be called 'jam tomorrow'.

“'Goody Two-Shoes' is the name given to a poor orphan - Margery Meanwell. She is so poor as to possess only one shoe and is so delighted when given a pair of shoes by a rich gentleman that she keeps repeating that she has 'two shoes': "She ran out to Mrs. Smith as soon as they were put on, and stroking down her ragged Apron thus, cried out, 'Two Shoes, Mame, see two Shoes'. And so she behaved to all the People she met, and by that Means obtained the Name of 'Goody Two-Shoes, By virtue of hard work she makes good and marries a wealthy widower - thus mimicking the Cinderella theme of virtue being finally rewarded.”

If Drew is a wealthy widower, then I missed something before walking down the aisle. That aside, I never realized how this phrase really does do a good job of describing the true Greta, at least in my crazy brain. I’ve always tried to be virtuous with my family, friends, at work, in school. Mission: Leave an ever-lasting great impression. Make my parents proud. Be all that I can be! Perseverance is the way to live life! Yes, yes… never give up! And those various actions can in fact be taken as bossy, coy or smug. So far, this phrase suits me well.

Before biting into a berry, there is eager anticipation of tasting its juicy sweetness. How sorely saddened we become when it is sour or tart and spit it out. One of my fears in life has always been what people will think of me if I say X versus Y, or believe apples versus oranges and then share that opinion and am faced with disagreement and judgment. This in fact has molded me into one of the world’s worst debaters. It has also led me to hold back in many circumstances. As I stated earlier, this can only get you so far in life.

Inspired by two very independent, intelligent, amazing, strong-willed women (Brenda E. and Ann S.), I have decided to take a plunge into being judged. Yes – here it is, my new blog (Get Over Greta). Sharing my thoughts, ideas, and opinions should not be taken as self-serving or spiteful. My intent is to share, learn, observe, and grow as a person through self-discovery. Hopefully I will be brave enough to share more personal topics, thoughts and opinions on life in general. To do this, the façade of sweetness will no longer be masked. Sweet on the outside, dark and sinister on the inside, MacBeth’s Inverness Castle has nothing on me. Well, actually it probably does. I’ll try not to hurt anyone’s feelings. I don’t think I’m an evil person…. Or maybe… (Insert evil, heartless laughter sound effect here).

The side that only Drew really knows and OH SO LOVES, that 30-something wife, mom-to-be who is a proud sister, daughter, dreamer, career-driven, sarcastic cynic, secular humanist, angry independent centrist living the American dream in the melting mud pot of Missouri, is going to start sharing with you. Etiquette and manners will persist to be present. Please use logic and reason if you choose to engage.